While I was becoming a student of cancer and all its treatments, my mind seemed to be bound by the central question, “why?” and “What did I do wrong?”. My brain was the tether-ball tied to the pole of “why did I get cancer?”. I’ve heard that just before you die, you see glimpses of all the wonderful snippets of your life – a life recap of sorts. But as I mull this diagnosis with all its possible future ramifications, the slow-motion newsreel takes on a different theme. Every. Thing. That. I. Have. Ever. Done. Wrong.
- Did I smoke, do drugs, drink to excess? No. No. No.
- Is my diet terrible? No – especially for the prior 1.5 yrs it’s even been terrific (ketogenic – with no starches, no sugar, only meat, dairy, and non-starchy vegetables).
- Do I have family history of breast cancer? – No, going back 3 generations.
Now to the hard part of the self-reflection.
- Did I ever exercise enough? NO. Did I have a sedentary job most of my career? YES.
- Did I eat processed food for much of my life (prior to the KETO diet)? YES.
- Have I made poor choices in my life? YES.
- The devil specifically leaned in on all those poor choices, hinting that perhaps my cancer was penance for those moments. What a jerk he is. I have long-ago reconciled those poor choices with God, repented and lead a new life.
- Books like Cancer As A Metabolic Disease (which is a great book) can also fan the flame of past lifestyle environmental behaviors, like exposure to micro-plastics, fumes inhaled, chemical exposure, carcinogenic makeup/soap/lotion ingredients, and other environmental causes. Was I perfect? No. Was I the worst? No.
- Then there’s the HRT (hormone replacement therapy), prescribed by my gynocologist after my full hysterectomy. Some studies show a link between HRT and breast cancer. And my cancer is hormone (estrogen and progesterone) positive.
- And lastly, some studies show a link between women who don’t give birth or breast feed and breast cancer. That’s me.
Pause. Breathe. Time to focus on how do I resolve this medical issue? Not wallow in “what did I do wrong?”.
“When you know better, do better.” Maya Angelou
“There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1
“What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.” Psalm 56:3
My Next Steps 